My appologies for not writing. since my arrival back to the USA i threw myself in about 1 million directions trying to keep myself occupied which ultimately gave me pneumonia. You know how women are, we like to multi task, keep ourselves in shape, and try to accompklish a list the size of China in one day. My time off I spent resting and reading a series of magazines ranging from Bon Appetit, Shape, Vogue, and anything with a colorful cover. I flipped through the thin smooth pages gazing at everything from how to make homemade tiramisu, the newest swimwear for every shape, and a series of ads trying to sell me everything from bandaids to viagra. ( no thank you) But one theme remainded constant throughout them all which caused me to think: When did women get this way?
If they weren't teaching me how to make my favorite dishes 500000 calories less by taking fewer bites while chewing they were offering me pills to make my backside look just like Giselle from victoria Secret. It sincerely amazed me the number of products on the market for women right and how the perception of woman has changed from wholesome to flip me over orange glazed pixie stick. it was truly amazing. I flipped back through the magazine and looked for articles targeting men. The normal half dressed woman in a pose her mother would shriek if she saw it, were the only ads. I began to think to myself women have it tough. I mean nowadays if you arent a size 2, you mind as well join Shamu at seaworld and if you dont have the body of a gilette goddess then dont bother going to the beach.
99% of the articles focused on the upcoming season and the one thing on everyone's mind from college students to mothers alike. Summer. Most pages and articles presented skillfully planned agendas on how to lose 48 lbs by drinking grapefruit juice and and doing crunches in your chair at work. From my readings i compiled a list according to the media that women NEED to do in preparation to bare it all. First there is waxing, thats right the glue that gets ripped off by a complete stranger from everyplace from your eyebrows, your top lip, under arms and well... umm... you get the picture. Then comes the teeth whitening so when you are laying on your beach blanket this year your teeth can be a bright and serve as a lighthouse bellowing to all these over oiled men ( or women) on the beach. Third the return of the retainer. Thats right that you opt out to wear all year long finds its way back into your nighttime routine as you sleep there open mouth gaped mouth full of metal to have those straight teeth. Next the gym, your new home away from home and current address until 5 weeks from April 25 ( the official swimsuit season) You Zumba, run, lift, crawl, and crunch your way to swimsuit shape all the while trying not to pass out. And lastly rabbit food, any form of substance that a fluffy bouncy rabbit would find appealing except for those cadbury easter eggs. These articles amazed, bewildered, and shocked me. "The things that women do all in the name of beauty and a season that lasts 3 months", i sighed. I wonder if men are flocking to salons to have their Queen Elizabeth waxed. I'll let you know. :)
xoxo
Worldly Woman
Deluka
Mean Streak
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